This blog is part of a series of 15 lessons based on the book “Lessons from the Geese” by Dr. Robert McNeish.
“More like than different” is a cliché we often hear about people with disabilities and people without disabilities. It is really true.
Brenda serves as a good example. When her parents died, a brother and sister-in-law assumed the responsibility for her care. She lived with them for a while but knowing she needed to have a broader community of opportunity and friends, she moved into our residential facility. Her sister-in-law, Liz, is the prime mover in Brenda’s inclusion because she stresses sameness not difference. Let’s talk about Brenda.
Brenda is a wonderful friend. I have known her since she became a resident in Riverwood about 25 years ago. Now, in her 60s, she has retained the qualities that make her dear. She is always interested in others. She remembers people and information about them. She has a ready smile. She is concerned. She is pleasant to be around. She endears herself to people who know her. During an illness serious enough to be in the hospital, she still displayed all of her sterling qualities.
Perhaps, Brenda’s favorite pastime is coloring pages from a coloring book. While that might not sound like an adult thing to do, for her it is way of expressing her appreciation to people. In her hand the crayon becomes an instrument of beauty as she shares the results with people she cares about.
She enjoys working with children and has had jobs working in daycare centers. She has had jobs in sheltered workshops. Her longest and favorite job was rolling the silverware in a napkin for a local restaurant. The business had two locations. As a cost saving move, the restaurant Brenda worked in was slated to close. The manager, who was one of her fans, said that he couldn’t tell Brenda. So, he made arrangements with the manager of the remaining business to hire her. He did and she is still rolling.
At the residential facility, we call her “Momma Brenda.” When new residents arrive, she is the first to help with the unpacking. She is the source of information about staff, rules, and secrets. She enjoys “keeping up” and “reporting.” Once, I became aware of a staff person who was sleeping on the job. I asked Brenda how things were going and without asking specifically got the answer. Her blunt response, “Good, but Jack (not his name) keeps sleeping late.”
She likes church. I think her best part is prayer time. Many times in conversations, she asks that friends, family members, and situations be put on “your prayer list.”
Even to a casual observer, Brenda dresses well. Her clothing is coordinated, colorful, stylish and attractive.
Now, let’s talk about Liz. Why is Brenda so well integrated into the community? The answer was clear to me when Brenda and Liz talked to one of my special education classes about family issues. When asked by a student how she felt about her, Liz revealed the reason, “I see her as a sister, not a sister-in-law. She is a person I enjoy being with. I like to shop with her.” In Liz’s statement there is no reference to disability. Sisters enjoy shopping together. That is the alikeness, not the disability. That is and should be the focus — more like than different.
Clearly, Liz is her link to those attractive clothes as well as her inclusion status.
“More like than different” is a cliché we often hear about people with disabilities and people without disabilities. It is really true.
Brenda serves as a good example. When her parents died, a brother and sister-in-law assumed the responsibility for her care. She lived with them for a while but knowing she needed to have a broader community of opportunity and friends, she moved into our residential facility. Her sister-in-law, Liz, is the prime mover in Brenda’s inclusion because she stresses sameness not difference. Let’s talk about Brenda.
Brenda is a wonderful friend. I have known her since she became a resident in Riverwood about 25 years ago. Now, in her 60s, she has retained the qualities that make her dear. She is always interested in others. She remembers people and information about them. She has a ready smile. She is concerned. She is pleasant to be around. She endears herself to people who know her. During an illness serious enough to be in the hospital, she still displayed all of her sterling qualities.
Perhaps, Brenda’s favorite pastime is coloring pages from a coloring book. While that might not sound like an adult thing to do, for her it is way of expressing her appreciation to people. In her hand the crayon becomes an instrument of beauty as she shares the results with people she cares about.
She enjoys working with children and has had jobs working in daycare centers. She has had jobs in sheltered workshops. Her longest and favorite job was rolling the silverware in a napkin for a local restaurant. The business had two locations. As a cost saving move, the restaurant Brenda worked in was slated to close. The manager, who was one of her fans, said that he couldn’t tell Brenda. So, he made arrangements with the manager of the remaining business to hire her. He did and she is still rolling.
At the residential facility, we call her “Momma Brenda.” When new residents arrive, she is the first to help with the unpacking. She is the source of information about staff, rules, and secrets. She enjoys “keeping up” and “reporting.” Once, I became aware of a staff person who was sleeping on the job. I asked Brenda how things were going and without asking specifically got the answer. Her blunt response, “Good, but Jack (not his name) keeps sleeping late.”
She likes church. I think her best part is prayer time. Many times in conversations, she asks that friends, family members, and situations be put on “your prayer list.”
Even to a casual observer, Brenda dresses well. Her clothing is coordinated, colorful, stylish and attractive.
Now, let’s talk about Liz. Why is Brenda so well integrated into the community? The answer was clear to me when Brenda and Liz talked to one of my special education classes about family issues. When asked by a student how she felt about her, Liz revealed the reason, “I see her as a sister, not a sister-in-law. She is a person I enjoy being with. I like to shop with her.” In Liz’s statement there is no reference to disability. Sisters enjoy shopping together. That is the alikeness, not the disability. That is and should be the focus — more like than different.
Clearly, Liz is her link to those attractive clothes as well as her inclusion status.
 | Dr Jim Pierson |
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