This blog is part of a series of 15 lessons based on the book “Lessons from the Geese” Dr. Robert McNeish.
People with disabilities are human beings. They have the same needs and desires that we all have. What they need more than anything is to be treated like the individuals they are. Seeing the person as a fellow human being with feelings, who wants to be loved and valued because he or she has something to give is a good starting place.
Howard, a resident in Riverwood Christian Community, has Down syndrome. There is no denying that. However, paying more attention to his personhood will lead to a better opportunity to form a positive relationship. He has a wonderful personality. He likes to feel involved. Howard had to “approve” any hires I made. He often suggested that he would like to apply for a given job when a vacancy occurred. He wanted to be my assistant.
He saw himself as a historian. He would ask for books about the history of group homes in Tennessee or Virginia. I would loan him books from my library about subjects of interest to him. He also saw himself as a minister. When the church he attended was without a minister, he wanted to be considered for the job. He was a pleasant person to be around. He was curious and sought information, often about topics that didn’t concern him. He felt included in his world. Howard was proud of being from Virginia. He dressed for dinner, in a three piece suit. He soon stopped that practice.
Before he moved to another facility to be closer to his family, we took him out to lunch to say goodbye. He doesn’t eat bread. He talked about history. In those moments, we knew we would miss seeing him and enjoying this wonderful human being who added a lot to our lives and to the facility.
The director of services relates an incident that underscores the value of seeing the person and not his disability:
Throughout the year people come to Riverwood to do special projects. In a group from Indiana was a young man who was obviously nervous about being there. It was his first time to be around people with disabilities. He confessed his fear and nervousness. He said he would work a lot and not spend much time with the people. That didn’t happen. He worked less and visited more.
On the last night of their stay, there was a time of sharing. The volunteers were expressing their appreciation for the experience and the residents were saying thank you to them. The young man spoke: “When I first came here, I was nervous and afraid. I didn’t know what to think or feel or even expect. While being here with you, I have seen a glimpse of heaven.” Before he finished, Howard walked over to him, squatted down in front of him and said, “Be not afraid for I am with thee. God loves us all. We are all children of God.” There was complete silence. The visitor and Howard stood, embraced and wept.
Howard’s humanity, not his diagnosis, won the day.
Howard, a resident in Riverwood Christian Community, has Down syndrome. There is no denying that. However, paying more attention to his personhood will lead to a better opportunity to form a positive relationship. He has a wonderful personality. He likes to feel involved. Howard had to “approve” any hires I made. He often suggested that he would like to apply for a given job when a vacancy occurred. He wanted to be my assistant.
He saw himself as a historian. He would ask for books about the history of group homes in Tennessee or Virginia. I would loan him books from my library about subjects of interest to him. He also saw himself as a minister. When the church he attended was without a minister, he wanted to be considered for the job. He was a pleasant person to be around. He was curious and sought information, often about topics that didn’t concern him. He felt included in his world. Howard was proud of being from Virginia. He dressed for dinner, in a three piece suit. He soon stopped that practice.
Before he moved to another facility to be closer to his family, we took him out to lunch to say goodbye. He doesn’t eat bread. He talked about history. In those moments, we knew we would miss seeing him and enjoying this wonderful human being who added a lot to our lives and to the facility.
The director of services relates an incident that underscores the value of seeing the person and not his disability:
Throughout the year people come to Riverwood to do special projects. In a group from Indiana was a young man who was obviously nervous about being there. It was his first time to be around people with disabilities. He confessed his fear and nervousness. He said he would work a lot and not spend much time with the people. That didn’t happen. He worked less and visited more.
On the last night of their stay, there was a time of sharing. The volunteers were expressing their appreciation for the experience and the residents were saying thank you to them. The young man spoke: “When I first came here, I was nervous and afraid. I didn’t know what to think or feel or even expect. While being here with you, I have seen a glimpse of heaven.” Before he finished, Howard walked over to him, squatted down in front of him and said, “Be not afraid for I am with thee. God loves us all. We are all children of God.” There was complete silence. The visitor and Howard stood, embraced and wept.
Howard’s humanity, not his diagnosis, won the day.
 | Dr. Jim Pierson |
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