Everyone wants to be heard. God has given each of us a voice, and people with disabilities are no different. This was especially true of one of my former students, Joe. As a student, Joe had a lot of strong opinions on how certain tasks should be accomplished, or how certain situations should be handled. While situations did not always warrant his desired type of response, it always came from a place of black and white, right or wrong.
There was one simple tool that would almost always help Joe to process and move forward: listening. Joe simply wanted to be heard. He had opinions that he thought were right, and he wanted someone to listen and acknowledge. His ideas always came from his perspective, and sometimes needed insight and a better understanding of others. When only told what to do or how to do something, it severely frustrated Joe. He needed to be heard and to have his viewpoint understood.
When meeting with Joe, whether to resolve an issue, or simply to work on goals, I would always take notes, write things down, and repeat them back to him for understanding. Simply knowing that I listened to his perspective and actually heard him offered him a level of peace, and a willingness to be more flexible with his attitude. Once heard, he was much more willing to see the situation from someone else’s perspective.
I am a futuristic thinker and ideas are free-flowing in my brain. Sometimes, it can be difficult to find contentment in current life circumstances simply because my mind is always racing to ideas of the future. I love to brainstorm and talk about ideas with others. Because my brain thinks so futuristically, it can be overwhelming to others or uninteresting. Much like Joe, when I feel that my thoughts and ideas have been dismissed, it can be extremely frustrating. While you don’t need to take notes when talking with me, I like to feel heard and have consideration given to my ideas, despite the reality of them being carried out. Dismissing the thoughts and ideas of others, despite their ability level, is one of the most deprecating things someone can do. Sometimes, we don’t even realize we have dismissed someone.
As teachers, parents, and those in ministry, remembering that everyone wants to be heard, and offering a listening ear to the thoughts and concerns of individuals – including those who have disabilities – will go a long way to building a better relationship with that individual, and you might just learn something too.
There was one simple tool that would almost always help Joe to process and move forward: listening. Joe simply wanted to be heard. He had opinions that he thought were right, and he wanted someone to listen and acknowledge. His ideas always came from his perspective, and sometimes needed insight and a better understanding of others. When only told what to do or how to do something, it severely frustrated Joe. He needed to be heard and to have his viewpoint understood.
When meeting with Joe, whether to resolve an issue, or simply to work on goals, I would always take notes, write things down, and repeat them back to him for understanding. Simply knowing that I listened to his perspective and actually heard him offered him a level of peace, and a willingness to be more flexible with his attitude. Once heard, he was much more willing to see the situation from someone else’s perspective.
I am a futuristic thinker and ideas are free-flowing in my brain. Sometimes, it can be difficult to find contentment in current life circumstances simply because my mind is always racing to ideas of the future. I love to brainstorm and talk about ideas with others. Because my brain thinks so futuristically, it can be overwhelming to others or uninteresting. Much like Joe, when I feel that my thoughts and ideas have been dismissed, it can be extremely frustrating. While you don’t need to take notes when talking with me, I like to feel heard and have consideration given to my ideas, despite the reality of them being carried out. Dismissing the thoughts and ideas of others, despite their ability level, is one of the most deprecating things someone can do. Sometimes, we don’t even realize we have dismissed someone.
As teachers, parents, and those in ministry, remembering that everyone wants to be heard, and offering a listening ear to the thoughts and concerns of individuals – including those who have disabilities – will go a long way to building a better relationship with that individual, and you might just learn something too.
 | Erin Luchterhand |
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