If you have answered yes to either of these questions it is time to evaluate your boundaries.
Setting clear boundaries or limits is essential to a mutually respectful relationship. A healthy relationship, whether student to student, student to teacher, or student to parent consists of two individuals each with a clearly defined sense of his or her own identity.
Boundary setting is not about control, being rude or difficult. When done in a positive manner, it benefits both individuals by establishing a climate of mutual respect. Setting boundaries teaches students how to effectively deal with uncomfortable situations, improves self-discipline, develops social skills, and prepares them for life’s challenges. Here are a few pointers to help you create healthy boundaries:
Decide what you want:
The first step in setting healthy boundaries is identifying what is necessary to improve the overall educational environment for the student. Ask yourself questions regarding if the class time is being used effectively or if the room is a learning environment. Ask yourself what you would change if you could and look for negative patterns. Self- evaluating your current situation is vital to student success. There are no right or wrong answers here. Boundaries are subjective and depend on the situation at hand, so decide how and with whom to address situations.
Be Firm:
After you decide how to proceed or what is needed, firmly state the boundary. Let’s say a student consistently interrupts class with questions that are off topic. Speak to the student individually and state what the problem is and the expected behavior. Have the student restate the issue and the desired behavior including why it is beneficial to all involved.
It is important that you remain calm and not justify or apologize for the boundary that you are setting. It is also important to remember that fewer words are usually more effective. Be clear and concise. This is not meant to discourage students, but to foster their ability to handle problems independently.
To read more of Jane’s article, click HERE.
Jane Gorsline
Shepherds College